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Volume 1, No.2 — April 22, 1919

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All the snap and go that the Second Division exhibited in battle in the past is now being expended in hard fought athletic contests on the thine.
Interest in the two big Second Division baseball leagues, the American and the National, is at fever heat. Track meets are held every week. Athletics consume the afternoons at the posts of the various units.
Crack athletes are being developed, and all the companies and detachments are encouraged to join in. The National and American Leagues of the division opened the season with the following games:
April 9—Fifth Marines defeated Sixth Marines, 9 to 5, at HOnningen; Fifteenth Field Artillery defeated Twelfth Field Artillery, 11 to 3, at Fahr; Second Engineers defeated Seventeenth Field Artillery, 7 to 2, at Engers. The Ninth Infantry game with the Twenty-third Infantry was postponed.
April 10—Sixth Machine Gun Battalion defeated Fifth Machine Gun Battalion, 9 to 5, at Hausen; First Field Signal Battalion defeated Fourth Machine Gun Battalion, 12 to 10, at Heddesdorf. The Second Sanitary Train defeated Motor Transport Corps, 7 to 0, at Engers; Second Ammunition Train defeated Second Supply Train, 8 to 6, at Heddesdorf; Headquarters team defeated Second Military Police, 4 to 3, at Heddesdorf.
Major-General Lejeune threw the first ball at the Fifth and Sixth Marine game. All the games were played on the new diamonds just completed and were exceedingly fast, notwithstanding the fact they were the first of the season.
Divisional Track Meet.
It was not sheer "home ground luck" that the Second Engineer Regiment outclassed the other regiments of the division in the first divisional track and field meet of the season, held at Engers on Friday and Saturday, April 11 and 12. They topped the next highest scorer, the Ninth Infantry, by nine points. The victory was the direct result of hard, sensible training, and just "guts."
Although the slowness of the track, due to recent wet weather, cut down the speed of some of the kings, the races were none the less exciting, inasmuch as they were all close and hard-fought. Often the judges were obliged to close one eye and aim down along the tape to guess the breast that touched it first. The most spectacular finishes came in the mile race, won by Hannah, Fifth Marines, and in the loo and 200-yard dashes, both won by routs, second Engineers.
beveral soldier athlete surprises were sprung in the field. events. Lieut. fialloweil, Ninth infantry, vauitea ten feet with ease; v erminion, bixth iviarines, put tne snot s2 feet, eight incnes; till, becona barn-tary Tram, threw tile uiscus more Ulan one hunared feet, and the javelin more than 124 feet. Much "pep" was aroused when the teams lined up for the heats of the tug-of-war. Every one was hard fought. The team from tne Fifteentn Field Artillery finally pulled the huskies from the Ninth infantry across tne line, cinching five points in the final score.
Officials for the meet were: Major-General John A. Lejeune, honorary referee; major W. H. Sitz, division athletic officer, referee; John Newhall, division athletic director, clerk of course; Y. M. C. A. Secretary Hammet, starter; Capt. J. I. Kilber, Ninth Infantry; Capt. H. W. LeGore, Division Headquarters; Lt. P. Jelke, Fifteenth F. A., and Owen Merrick, K. of C., timers; Capt. J. R. Minter, Sixth Marines; Lt. Ring-ressy, Fifteenth F. A., Chaplain McCaffery, Ninth Infantry, and Lt. Whahng, bixtif Marines, judges track events; Capt. David Duncan, Sixth iviarmes; Lt. Martineau, Flan Marines; Lt. Zunaell, First Field Signal Battalion, and Lt. Rockwell, Second Engineers, judges field events; Capt. Luther W. Jones, Division Headquarters, announcer, and Lt. A. H. Douglas, Seventeenth F. A., chief scorer.
It was surprising to note that six out of nine entries for the five-mile road race came in, especially since raw eggs are scarce. It was just like being put to work on a job and then being forgotten, for when the first two finishers came in, almost neck and neck, the distracted crowd was watching the close of the mile relay, and the poor fellows who would ordinarily be cheered for even finishing were not even noticed until they "breezed" up to the judge and said with their eyes and showed by their breathless condition that their mission had been accomplished.
A bright prospective for the big A. E. F. meet to be held next month is Sgt. Warren of the Fifteenth Field Artillery, who copped first place in the 220-yard low hurdle, 120-yard high hurdle, and the high jump. Others who are capable of shining brightly are Vermillion, Sixth Marines; Sutmiller, Sixth Machine Gun Battalion; Fouts, Second Engineers; Lt. Galbraith, Second Engineers; Hill, Second Sanitary Train, and Hannah and Routh, Fifth Marines.
General John A. Lejeune, commanding the di-
vision, who is ever interested in the athletic activities, was there and saw it all, accompanied by his staff. The American girl is no disinterested person, either, for all the "Y" girls who could beg transportation were on the job.
Below are listed the results of the meet by events and the officials:
Friday's Events.
Standing broad jump: Won by Sutmiller, Sixth Machine Gun Battalion; second, Vermillion, Sixth Marines; third, Vick; ourth, Howell, Second Sanitary Train. Distance, 9 feet; 2 3-8 inches.
Hop, step and jump: Won by Taylor, Fifth Marines; second, Danculovic, Second Sanitary Train; third, Sutmiller, Sixth Machine Gun Battalion; fourth,. Lt. Waite, Ninth Infantry. Distance, 38 feet, 5 inches.
Throwing the discus: Won by Hill, Second Sanitary Train; second, Routh, Sixth Marines; third, Vermillion; fourth, Dailey, Second Engineers. Distance, 100 feet, 5 inches.
Throwing the javelin: Won by Hill, Second Sanitary Train; second, Routh, Sixth Marines. Distance, 124 feet.
, Eight hundred eighty-yard relay: Won by Second Engineers; second, Fifth Marines; third, Ninth Infantry. Time, 1:47. Winning team: Fouts, Jones, Virly, McVey.
Medley relay: Won by Second Engineers; second, Ninth Infantry. Time, 10:7 2-5. Winning team, Fouts, Donnell, Tyson, Rosenthal.
Saturday's Events.
One hundred yard-dash: Won by Fouts, Second Engineers; second, Lt. Knapp, Ninth Infantry; third, Long, Ninth Infantry; fourth, McVey, Second Engineers. Time, 11 1-5 seconds.
Two hundred and twenty-yard dash: Won by Fouts, Second Engineers; second, Buice, Ninth Infantry; third, Walton, Fifteenth Field Artillry; fourth, Virly, Second Engineers. Time, 25 4-5 seconds.
Four hundred and forty-yard dash: Won by Ackerman, Ninth Infantry; second, Donnell, Second Engineers; third, Walton, Fifteenth Field Artillery; fourth, Mayes, Ninth Infantry. Time, 63 seconds.
One hundred and twenty-yard high hurdles: \Von by Warren, Fifteenth Field Artillery; second, Gram-lich, Second Sanitary Train; third, Lt. Galbraith, Second Engineers; fourth, Wheatley, Twenty-third Infantry. Time, 19 3-5 seconds,
Two hundred and twenty-yard low hurdles: Won by Warren, Fifteenth Field Artillery; second, Lt. Galbraith, Second Engineers; third, Gramlich, Second Sanitary Train. Time, 29 1-5 seconds.
Eight hundred and eighty-yard run: Won by Douglas, Sixth Machine Gun Battalion; second, Noblitt, Fifth Marines; third, Hannah, Fifth Marines; fourth, Tyson, Second Engineers. Time, 2:20.
One-mile run: Won by Hannah, Fifth Marines; second,.Focrtsch, Second Engineers; third, Libby, Sixth ,Machine Gun Battalion; fourth, Noblitt, Fifth Marines. Time, 5:33 2-5.
Five-mile road race: Won by Tucker, Fifth Marines; second, Connor, Twenty-third Infantry; third, Trainor, Ninth Infantry; fourth, Hodge, Ninth Infantry. Time, 35:43.
Running high jump: Won by Warren, Fifteenth Field Artillery; second, Sutmiller, Sixth Machine Gun BattaliOn; third, Taylor, Fifth Marines (tie for second); fourth, Gressett, Second Sanitary Train. Height, 5 feet, 2 inches.
Dunning broad jump: Won by Sutmiller, Sixth Machine Gun Battalion; second, Vermillion, Sixth Marines; third, Taylor, Fifth Marines; Gressett, Second Sanitary Train, and Lt. Waite, Ninth Infantry, tied for fourth place. Distance, 18 feet 1 inch.
Pole vault: Won by Lt. Hallowell, Ninth Infantry; second, Johnson, Second Engineers; third, Vermillion, Sixth Marines; fourth, Rutherford, Fifth Marines. Height, 10 feet.
Shot put: Won by Vermillion, Sixth Marines; second, Lt. Hazard, Second Sanitary Train; third, Dev-ereux, Fifteenth Field Artillery; fourth, Rutherford, Fifth Marines. Distance, 32 feet, 8 inches.
One-mile relay: Won by Sixth Machine Gun Battalion; second, Second Engineers; third, Ninth Infantry. Time, 4:16. Winning team: Dillon, Bachelor, Hollister, Douglas.
Corporals Bobovnyk and Anton and Privates Frantz and Brooks have been awarded the Croix de Guerre for extraordinary valor in the Champagne sector.
The prospects are promising for a successful ball team, with such material as Rambler, pitcher of Jersey City fame; Doak, former Vanderbilt University star infielder; Frantz, Joplin, Mo., outfielder, and other fast semi-professionals like Sergeants McClure, Chandler and Michalski.
Lieutenants Randall, Fleming and Kelley were re-
cently made captains.
Second Lieutenant Pitts has been promoted to first
What is responsible for the change to good chow
these days?
Notice the soldierly attitude and efficiency of the
second platoon under Lieutenant Cukela.
It is common for the visiting Marine to say we have
been fortunate in being located in a busy and live
metropolis such as Wofenacker.
Who dares say our "Top" is genial, affable and
-- * --
Doctor (to soldier): I advise you, on account of
your physical condition, to take a tonic.
Soldier: Well, Doc, how is beer?
Doctor: No; that is Teu-tonic.
A soldier, on his first visit to his girl after arriving home, was asked what soldierly rank he held. Soberly, he replied: "A rear rank soldier."
—Pvt. S. J. Harrington, 66th Co., 5th Marines.
Well, we are beginning to get a good idea who is going to stay here when the Second takes over the fhirty-second Division area. Since the detachment from the Second Engineers started work on our new stables, the dopsters of the Fifteenth Field have it figured out that we are elected to keep the madcheiis oY Wallendorf from suffering a scarcity of soap. Here's hoping!
The regimental baseball team looks very good for so early in the season, but then why woulcin t it with our old friend Lieut. John H. Higgens gathering in everything that even looks like it was trying to get past the infield. And hit—why say, he poles them out at will.
Speaking of high-ranking bucks—you should have heard "Old Soldier" Crandell a few nights ago He was walking post down by headquarters at about 11 p. m., when his nervous but sharp glance descried t, light about ten feet away from him. "Ah," thinks Crandell, "here's where I get a 'Croix de Garoo'." And with a lusty shout he sounded off.
"Put out that light," says he.
"This is officers' quarters," replied a rough and belligerent voice.
"Put out that light," repeated Crandell, in his besi official tone. •
"Aw, go to h—1," said the voice (and it was getting sore, too).
But Crandell, remembering the traditions of the battery, refused to be bulldozed.
-Corporal of the guard, No. 4," he roared.
And then—the light went out-
Our budding Booths and Eltinges and John Drews whom Dad Kenny has christened the "Orioles," did their first bit of work in many moons Tuesday. They, were one and all informed that they would have to carry all their equipment, down to the last rubber boot, around to the supply room and get it checked up. So "Belasco" Laffin, "Red" Stevens, "Julian El-tinge" Cournoyer, "Oriole" Good, and a few of the lesser lights rolled up sox, shoes, shirts n'everything and went out to do or be did. After they had gone to the supply room, picket line and a few more places, covering about two kilos in all and carrying their packs all the way, they were informed that it was the first of April. Nimble legs saved the lives of at least two practical jokers.
Sentry calling the hour: "Ten o'clock and 'White Mule' Greaney still sober—April fool."
Bugler (?) Stanilla, the young wonder from Gary, Ind., will no longer wake the morning echoes and mourning soldiers with his imitation of "first call." He has entered the divisional school for barbers at Neuwied. "Let 'im up, Wop; he's all cut."
Lieut. Rompel has returned to duty with the bet-
tery, having completed the course in the artillery school at our first home in France—Le Valdahon. While there the Lieutenant was entertained by several of his brother officers at a dance in Besancon. As they say "back to hum," "a good time was had by all," especially the officers from the First and Second Divisions.
One of the inspecting officers pulled an awful "bull" the other day when some of our horses were getting "condemned." He was in a hurry to get home, so he ,was looking the horses over a bit faster than they were led up to him. As the last of the "skins" was led past him, he cast a roving eye over the scene and said: "Why don't you have that horse condemned too?" "Why," said Stable Sgt. Boyle, "that ain't no horse, Captain; that's 'Chicken' Dahm."
Sgt. J. G. Mahar, Bat. F, 15th F. A.
Crown Prince: Gott help der rich, der poor can
Hindenburg: "Ja, and Gott help der Deutsch, der
Yanks can fight."
Received a letter from a girl friend the other day. and she asked why chocolate and soap were in such great demand by the boys. I wonder how I can answer it. Answer: You can't.
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Bendorf.—Americans in America are doomed to wonder if in reality the Americans in Europe are allies of the Allies or allies of the Boche, judging by the latest novelty in souvenirs, appearing in local stores, and designed to catch the eyes and marks of the doughboys.
Long before the march on the Rhine was begun our men knew something of the guile of the Hun, and were prepared to discount some of the evidences of friendship. But the "latest" passeth understanding.
Flattering little notices such as, "Gentlemen, send home a souvenir from Germany," are set out over very appropriate German souvenirs—beer mugs. But the design of most of the offerings invites a second look, and that generally means a determination tc pass up the purchase. Can you imagine it! On the earthenware mugs are skillfully colored figures of an American soldier and a German fraulein, and the tat ter is handing a huge bouquet of flowers to the American. One could almost suspect an American illustrator of concocting what is meant for the American, for the campaign hat, so conspicuous by its absence from the front, is worn. As for the fraulein, she i‘ German in every respect. Beneath the happy couple appears "Souvenir from Germany."
Let's just imagine what happens when one of these mugs gets home through the mail. Somebody will remark: "Gosh, John's letters used to tell us of gas attacks and barrages and machine guns, and now look what he sends—a picture of Germany welcoming her soldiers—Americans at that. You'd think the Americans had been invited into the Rhineland, but it seems to me that I read that the Second Division actuall3 had to fight at Chateau Thierry and St. Mihiel and Soissons, and a lot of other places, before the last wallop in the Argonne Forest. Either the Second Division didn't fight, or else that picture about flowers and welcome to Americans is all wrong. I wonder what in thunder he sent it for."
Chances are that John won't send any mug of this kind home—he is lucky to be able to bring his owr mug home, and no thanks to the Germans either.

When Caesar spent his furlough on the Nile,
After walloping the spots out of creation,
Little did that hero know he'd lose his heart to Cleo.
When she exercised that girlish fascination.
And when the Yanks, after cleaning up the Hun,
Won a seven-day furlough in gay Paree,
Was it very strange, I wonder, that they made the
same old blunder,
And surrendered to the wiles of "Ma Cherie?"
Caesar was a clever warrior, we are told,
And the Yanks themselves can put over a thing
or two;
But to win against a woman isn't natural or human;

Therefore, "watch your step," is the wisest thing for you.
So when you feel the yearning in your bones,
And you saunter down Paree-ward for some chow,
Don't forget about old Caesar—take it easy, you old
And remember, you're in the army now!
Cpl. Elwood Haines, 84th Co., 6th Marines.

Eniire Casuallies of A.E.F.by

The above figures were taken from the Army and
Navy Journal. Chart drawn by G-2-C, Second Division.

National League.
W. L. Pet. W. L. Pet
5th Marines 1 0 1.000 23rd Inf. 0 0 .000
15th F. A. 1 0 1.000 6th Marines 0 1 .000
2nd Eng'rs. 1 0 1.000 12th F. A. 0 1 .000
9th Inf. 0 0 .000 17th F. A. 0 1 .000
American League.
W. L. Pet. W. L. Pet.


Near the north pole, down south.
Friendless Friends:

Yourself and friends are invited t) attend a moonlight picnic on the afternoon of February 32, given by the Looney Club in Lonesome Grove. The music will be furnished by the syncopated boilermakers, directed by one of our well known M. P. friends.

Admission by couples, single price, and orphans accompanied by their parents will be admitted free of charge at half price. Take the car you have missed if you can catch it. If you miss the boat, swim to the train, as nothing is charged for waiting. You are requested to bring a bucket along for water in case your friend gets hungry. Mel without legs will race for a silver loving cup made of brass, to be given by the Grouch Club. The winner will return the cup.

Four murders will be committed and a number of buildings will be blown up to amuse the children. Ten hundred and fifty dollars worth of fireworks will be displayed, providing you bring them along. Two shots will be fired at each person entering the grounds.

Two railroads will be given away with each glass of beer. Among other prizes given in the contest are bridges, subways, gold mines, locomotives, and various other trinkets.

Included in the bill of fare will be boiled cat eyes with castor oil dressing, snake hips on toast, fly hearts served with French-fried potatoes. The dessert will consist of ant tongue pie.

If you want to die, do it at home; for anyone found dead on the grounds will be arrested.

Don't fail to come, as you are certain to enjoy yourself and feel sorry for it afterwards.

I am, yours until Niagara Falls,

  Pvt. Ray J. Kwiatkowski, 18th Co., 5th Marines.

If we only possessed those marks we had last July 18, when we captured the German paymaster near Soissons!

Cpl. Powell, Second Supply Train, still insists that Texas is larger than the Atlantic Ocean, and if yo traveled as slow as the steamships did, the war would be over before. one could cross the state.

Capt. James Eagan, commanding Company A, has returned to his organization. The captain paid a short visit to friends and relatives who reside in Ireland. He reports a delightful trip, except for the in-c mvenience caused by overcrowded traveling facilities.
The history of the First Field Battalion, Signal Corps, has at last become a reality. With the exception of a few minor details which are to be all-ere-I. the work is full and complete, and is expected to ao-pear in book form within a reasonably short time.
The history is well composed and describes in detail the interesting and unusual career of this organization since its earliest stages of development until the present date. Included, of course, is its mission in Mexico and the Hawaiian Islands. Special emphasis is placed on the highly successful work which the unit did in conjunction with the Second Division during its splendid campaigning in Europe and the great World War.
Capt. Holcomb, its author, relates in a very graphic manner the many deeds of heroism and valor performed by the individual signalman in performance of his duties, in order that communication might be maintained at a maximum of efficiency. He also cites a few cases of the difficulties with which this arm of the service had to contend during the many engagements in which it took an active part.
The concluding pages of this work are deoted entirely to a tabulation of the names of the men who were wounded or killed in action, including the dates and the fronts on which the casualties occurred. It is probably the best souvenir we could take home with us, except ourselves. It will prove in years to come to be one of our most coveted Possessions, and show to our friends the reasons why the Second Division communication systems were second to none.
Dependent relatives and the situation at home necessitated the furlough or discharge of the following members of the battalion, who departed for the ITroterl States during the past month: Cpl. George C'x, Sgt. William E. Ralston, Cpl. Lloyd Bell, Pvt. Orin Mis&-iaud and Pvt Saunders of Company B; Cpl. A. M. Grant of Comnany C, and Sot William E. Miller and Pvt. Harry E. Laurence of Company A. Sgt. Miller and Sgt. Ralston were the only two who left on furlough.

Passes have been granted to ten of the members of A Company to date. A corresnonding number from Headquarters, B and C Companies have also availed themselves of the opportunity to see something of Europe.
Calvin W. Critchlow, a member of A Company and an operator who has been working on the Third Brigade radio set, was removed to the hospital recently. where he was expected to undergo an operation for appendicitis.
0. B., 1st Field Bn., Signal Corps.

Sgt. Pulver has been working on a deal in the American League, trading one outfielder and an infielder for a pitcher.
Cpl. Fox, Headquarters catcher, reported to the manager and asked for a tryout, saying he could produce the goods, which I presume he did. (How about it, M. P.'s?).
Manager Butler, First Field Signal Battalion base-
ball team, says his next show will be "East Lynn."
They played "Going Some" last week.
M. P.: Pretty lucky, Pulver.
Pulver: How so?
M. P.: Getting out of that hole.
Pulver: Hole! The only time a pitcher is in a hole
is when he has a good ball team against him.
The Packard trucks which were the distinguishing feature of the Second Supply Train a year ago, are all to be turned in and Liberty trucks issued.
Already the new trucks have been delivered, awl only await distribution.
CAPT. W. G. LONG, Editor. E INDIAN Pvt. James W. Caudle,
Capt. J. R. Minter, Business Manager.
Assistant Editor. Mechanical Staff : Sgt. F.
Busik, Pvt. W. Jenkins.
VOLUME I, No. 2. April 22, 1919. NEUWIED-ON-THE-RHINE
Thereis just one thing absolutely certain in this life, and that is that death will come at the end of it. Aside from that, everything, so to speak, depends upon everything else. All of which sounds mighty vague until you reach the end of this paragraph—stick with the old Second Division until it goes home, if you possibly can.
Does that mean you will be in Europe for another year?
We don't KNOW, but—we THINK NOT.
We THINK the end of August may possibly be the outside limit of the division's stay on this side of the big pond. What makes us think so? A little bird told us.
As previously remarked, nothing is certain in this life but death and taxes, and it would be foolish for The Indian to predict with certainty that the Second Division will be on its way HOME by the end of summer. It begins to look that way, however, and as the old saying goes, "A hint is as good as a nod to a horse that isn't blind."
If a man should "work the rabbit's foot" and get home earlier than the end of summer, he would be a sick lad indeed to see the good old division he fought with, and might have died with, coming home in all its glory, as a unit.
This matter is worth serious consideration. The summer will be over before we know it, for spring is already here. It will be a good old summer at that, with the big leagues striving for supremacy, and all the other doings. Better stick around a while, buddy.
Take your little old eleven francs sixty, son, go around to your company clerk and sign up for membership in the Second Division Association. The francs let you in for one year, and you'll never regret it.
One of these days the Second Division is going home—just as surely as the sun rises and sets. And THEN what! To whom are you going to turn for news of the whereabouts of your old pals? Why, you'll turn to the Second Division Association.
What will keep up the wonderful esprit de corps, or élan, or whatever you call it, of this outfit after it goes home? The Second Division Association.
And what will the Second Division Association do with all this membership money it gets? Just you go back home once and try to rent an office and hire some clerks for a year and see. Living is high back home these days, me lad.
The Second is sure some division, with a full-fledged newspaper, and an honest-to-goodness magazine. The newspaper is The Cootie, published by the officers and men of the "Fighting Ninth" Infantry. The Cootie was the first in the field, with The Indian a close second.
The Cootie is a newspaper, The Indian is a magazine. One represents a single regiment—the other represents the entire division. Each has a field of its own, each comes out once a week, and they in no sense overlap. Even if they did, it would make no difference, for the good old Second is strong for both of them.

YORK SPUR'S DOPE By a Navy Man With the Division


Mary Thurman, movie actress, and a good one, when telling what she expected of her "ideal man," said, among other things: "He must be courageous, without carrying a chip on his shoulder."

She wasn't talking about war. She was talking about life, and the living of it. That chip on your shoulder may be good advertising, and it may not.

While you're waiting for someone to knock that chip off your shoulder, the other fellow is "making good." While you're waiting for somebody to call your bluff, the other fellow is liable to get away with everything that is worth getting away with. It's the man who does the deed, and when he's finished that can do another deed, who counts most these days. Chuck the chip and get busy.

"Is there such a man in real life a man who can laugh at just the right time and make me laugh at the right time, too?" That's what Marguerite Clark wants to know. It was in the Motion Picture Magazine some time ago. It don't sound hard, I'll admit, but when I get to thinking of the breaks I've made by laughing at the wrong time, or worse yet, by not laughing at all, I begin to appreciate what she means. It's a science.

You're judged by what makes you laugh, as well as by what you do, and most folks laugh pretty often. How about it? What does it take to make you laugh, and how does it affect the other fellow? Does it make him laugh too, or does it "take all the joy out of life," just because you laughed, and the other fellow didn't have a chance?

Foreign Habits.

"We formulate a basis for character during the first 23 years of our life. After our 23rd year we may truly say we begin to learn things. Then is when we really begin our schooling in the school of life."

I don't know just how much I believe in that, but it makes me wonder what sort of "basis for character" I've got. I always thought I had a character, or that I was and am a character, but I'm only 23 years old, so I guess I'm just starting to school in life's great school.

When a habit gets hold of a fellow it's hard to break away, and the habits of the French and German people we've been living with during the last two years, more or less, have been habits that don't work back home back in the States where mother is.

It strikes me that it is high time to get in training for the home coming, where we'll have to be civilized Americans again, instead of accumulating foreign habits. Some of these habits may be worth copying, but those that are most in evidence don't stand the test in the States. You may be going home sometime and you may not, but it Pays to remember how they do things back home in "God's Country."


Somewhere in some magazine I saw where it said: "There are no two words in the English language more descriptive of business inefficiency than 'I forgot'." Then later on I was reading in the American magazine and ran across an article that said: "Memory is a wonderful faculty, and is only excelled by the ability to forget."

They're both right. The fellow that's always forgetting, things will most likely in the end forget to succeed; he'll forget to become prosperous, and all that. But it's a Godsend to find a fellow who is glad to forget when memory might cause you or your best
friend a great embarrassment, or disgrace, or financial loss.

When it doesn't do anybody any good, it pays to forget. The fellow who suffers from your unwanted good memory may some time use his own memory to your decided discomfort. Sometimes it pays, but "I forgot" isn't much good as a steady diet.

Hot Air.

"Hot air goes a long way when there are brains in the furnace," says a noted sales manager who has enough brains himself to camouflage his "hot air" and make it a thing of real value to himself and his concern.

Did it ever occur to you that the other fellow has about the same troubles as yourself? He don't want to hear what you've got to say any more than you want to hear what he's got to say, unless it happens to be of particular interest to him. When you see he's not interested, break off, and lead him to start something of his own, then you've got him. That's the thing he's most likely interested in. Then give him your hot air if you like, but remember that's where the brains come in. Regulate your supply to fit his enthusiasm over his own interests and give him rope, filling in with the best you've got when he begins to slow up, and when you go he'll think you're a darned fine fellow.

You showed so much interest in him and his affairs, and yet you were not over-inquisitive. Then he begins to remember the things you said, and the particular kind of interests you had, and the more he thinks about it the more he likes it, and pretty soon he convinces himself that he likes you and your "line" and you're pretty sure to hear from him. How about it? Doesn't it work? Try it once and see.
York Spur.

First truck driver: "I wonder what ever became of that big gun?"
Second Ditto: "Oh, he's interned in Holland."
Pvt. Smith: I am told there are salmon in the Rhine.
Pvt. Jones: S-s-h! The mess sergeant will hear you.

Bendorf—The Croix de Guerre was awarded Sgt. Clayton F. Mount, of Field Hospital No. 15, for caring for wounded under fire at the front, but someone will have to design a new decoration for his latest exhibition of "nerve."
Sgt. Mount received a severe injury recently while playing volley ball, and it was necessary for him to undergo an operation. He has charge of the operating room at the field hospital, and just prior to the administration of ether in his own case, he laid out the hemostats, thumb forceps and scapels for the surgeons, got on the table, went under the ether, awoke an hour later and laughed at the whole affair —and it wasn't exactly a laughing matter either.
She: "And were you really in big battles?"
He: "No. I thought I was, but after reading the accounts of engagements as narrated by the boys of the S. 0. S., I am beginning to think that the Second Division sneaked through gaps in the German lines and were unnoticed."
When'the roses bloom in winter, and the snowflakes
fall in June;
When the sun comes out at midnight in the place of
Mr. Moon;
When four times two is seven, and eight times two
is ten;
When joy is sorrow and today is tomorrow—
I think we will go home THEN.
A charming "nurse," a "private" bold, A balmy night, a moon of gold Shone down upon the damse't fair; The game of hearts began right there.
The youth "advanced" with "martial" tread, The maid, "at ease," ne'er turned her head. "Surrender" ere you taste "defeat;"
For you, he said, there's no "retreat."
The love god "re-inforced" the maid, Hence feared she not the "ambuscade." A "volley" of commands" she "fired;" The maid from the scene "retired."
A second "charge," a new "assault," The "enemy" refused to "halt."
"A 'truce,' a 'truce,' the maid declared,
As to her tower the foe repaired.
"Sweet Miss," he murmured in her ear, "The 'siege' is on, no 'quarter' here; Love's 'stronghold' must before me fall; Your heart must heed Dan's bugle call.
"I seek to 'captain' your 'brigade,'
To help run safely life's `blockade;'
My heart you've captured with your charms,
I 'volunteer' to take up 'arms'
"In your 'defense' to guard you ere Life's 'spoils of war' I seek to share. The `foes' attack,' I ask my fate, Ere I your `fort' evacuate'."
"All's fair in love and war," said she;
"I really like your 'company.'
I'm all 'attention,' I'll admit;
`Present' your pleas whilst here I sit."
The "rookie" then with single stride, The lovely "prisoner" sat beside.
" 'Right shoulder', Miss," he softly said;
The blushing nurse "inclined" her head.
The question old, a fond embrace, The moon shone on an upturned face; He winked his eye and said, "What bliss! The 'terms of peace' signed with a kiss."
The yellow beams shot o'er the sky.
The "nurse" and `rookie" heaved a sigh;
Dan Cupid sighed in knowing glee—
Once more he'd won a "victory."
—Pvt. Jack Warren Carrol, 17th F. A.
She: "And what happened when the Germans established an impregnable line?"
He: "The Second Division was sent to punch holes in it for other divisions to walk through."
When America entered the war the charge was made by Germany, it may be recalled, that we were after the "dollar" (a dollar is a piece of paper or a piece of silver circulating in the United States, which when captured, yields 5.80 francs and about twice a,5 many marks). In other words, the Yankees had materialistic aims instead of noble ones, such as licking the Germans for sinking our ships.
Since the armistice some of the Rhineland inhabi tants have been making good fellows out of the Americans and saying nice things about President Wilson and treating the famous 14 points as though they were the ten commandments. But of late there is a little spirit of bitterness creeping out, and the old dollar story is floating around in the billet sectors.
It seems that the German conception is this—Ger-many didn't quit, she just ran out of food, so it way up to America and the rest of the allies to hustle up and feed her. Then came the horrible demand of the Allies—Germany must give over her ships to the Allies to bring food across the Atlantic. "They have seized our ships," was the voluminous wail heard all through the divisional area. It surely was Pitiablr that the idle boats should be forced to leave the German harbors to bring back food to Germany! The fact that allied ships lie at the bottom of the sea because of the pernicious activity of the U-boats didn'i register on the Boche mind.
When the announcement was recently made that coffee and rice were soon forthcoming to German civilians, America was almost forgiven for taking over the ships. But now the situation is complicated again, and long talks have taken the place of pinochle in the gasthauses, for it has been proven that America entered the war for dollars.
Here's the proof—a German civilian learned in Co-blenz of the immature steam rollers, which the Ger mans call trucks, taken over by the Americans by th( terms of the armistice, to be sent to America. The published evidence of 100,000 .deaths in the A. E. F., of billions of dollars expended in the war by the United States, or the giving up of civilian life by mil-1 ions of young Americans, all of these facts do not overweigh the sinister motive attributed to "Wall Street," or President Wilson and Congress.
America entered the war for the dollar! She is taking 52 lovely German trucks—that proves it. (Only about 50,000 American trucks were used in the job) It is rumored by Yankees over here that the trucks are to be used in the Victory Loan campaign.
Judge: "And why do you refuse to pay your gat bill?"
Defendant: "Because, Your Honor, I was accustomed to get all the gas I wanted, and more too, free." Judge: "And where was this, pray?"
Defendant: "With the Second Division, in 1918." Judge: "Case dismissed."
The Eighth Company pipes up from down in that little hole among the hills, Datzeroth, Germany, on the Wied.
Now that the Second Engineers have completed our new chow house, our landscape artist, Sgt. Castello. has beautified the lawn with evergreens, but refuses to plant any blue grass, as we have no lawn mower.
"Salvage," our renowned mascot, is feeling kippy these days, and refuses to wear his blanket. "Salvage" doesn't object very much to occupying Germany—he doesn't have to drink this muddy wine.
We are all going crazy, but some seem to be in a .worse condition than others. As a substantiation of this fact, a game of pony polo was participated in. our machine gun cart mules being pressed into service, and being ridden bareback. We were of the opinion that we knew, and now we know that mules do not verstehen polo. There were several casualties. After deciding that mule polo was a failure, the game of wrestling was engaged in. Our famous ex-. cowpuncher, Sgt. Wirt L. Baucom, was thrown in the early stages of the game, which goes to prove that a Marine is a Marine, regardless of his life on the outside.
All the frauleins in town appeared last Sunday in their new spring suits, but they seem to be saving their new bonnets for Easter. The girls limped slightly during the latter part of the afternoon. The only apparent explanation of this was the strenuous promenade up and down Mule Strasse in the new tailor-made shoes.
Lieut. Watchman succeeded in throwing a bridge across the Wied river for the purpose of providing quicker access to our new baseball field. He says he realizes the job that the Second Engineers had in bridging the Meuse away back in the Great War, but then he knows it wasn't so hard for the Second, because they had Lieut. "Tiny" Green. Incidentally, he also knows how to build mess halls.
Our captain has received his sailing orders and is now on his way to that longed-for country generally referred to as the States. His departure was regretted by all members of the company, as he was well liked, and there was never a more fearless captain. Captain Nelms will be remembered for his wonderful work with Major Hamilton in the battle of Blanc Mont Pidge, and all other operations of the Fifth Marines. He has not missed a single engagement, from the time the Second Division entered the line up to the last
battle, of the war. The company as a whole wishes
the captain "bon voyage," and every success in the world.
—Cpl. Robt. E. Odell, Fifth Marines.
Reporter: "And how did you find the quiet sectors?"
Marine : "By following the Squarehead army after the armistice was signed."
Though the Ammunition Train worked hand in hand with the doughboys and artillery in all the great battles in which the division figured, their work would not permit them to take many prisoners. In fact, they did not have any very good opportunities.
It was not until after the signing of the armistice, and the great march into the enemy's territory was well under way, that they redeemed themselves. On a lonely stretch of road through a German forest a "Boche" was found limping painfully along, far behind his rerteating comrades.
No doubt the hardships had proven too great for him. He could not keep up with the terrific speed of the retreating army. His efforts to evade us were futile, and so he was taken prisoner and kept under the strictest guard.
Judging from his appearance and actions he was of., the purest German blood, perhaps a Hohenzollern. A casual observer might easily take him for the Clown Shrimp himself. A sentry who was guarding him one day reported that, during a fit of despondency, the prisoner cast himself under the swiftly moving wheels of a caisson, and was saved from death only by his own pure German awkwardness•
Strange as it may seem, our prisoner soon became accustomed to his American captors. He learned many American customs, even made friends with everyone, and as he regained his strength, became a true American. Today "Heinie" is the most pro-ally daschund in all the occupied territory.
Anyone seeking evidence of the presence of that delightful season of spring should, on any fair afternoon of the week, climb this mountainlet called Weiters-burg. Coming to the top of the hill, he will notice a marked change in the atmosphere, and will be quick to remark: "Baseball is in the air."
Not to be outdone by the activities of the major leagues of the division, or, as the boys would say, the "big leaguers," a minor league has bloomed forth at this post, the circuit taking in all companies of the battalion.
If "pep" and enthusiasm help to make up and maintain a successful baseball league, then we are there "with bells." Every company of the battalion is now represented by a class A team. From the comment heard in the bleachers during the past week, some of our "big leaguers" should keep their eyes open, for it is only a question of time until managers will be bidding for our youngsters.
Both battalion and company commanders are lending every assistance to make the battalion league a success, and from the teams they have sent out, competition promises to be keen. A schedule of 32 games has been arranged, carrying us into the late days of June. In the event of the battalion being ordered to the States before the completion of our schedule, arrangements have been made for the closing of the season at home.
—Sgt. Thomas F. Wheelan, Jr.
580 Francs in Cash for the Best Short Stories-580
Francs in Cash for the Best Cartoons—
Contest Ends April 30th.
The stories must not be longer than 500 words, and they must not be "fiction." Instead, write about true things you have seen or heard during the war—ad-ventures, brave deeds, humorous occurrences, or strange happenings. Remember "truth is strange" than fiction."
The cartoons can be about anything, but it is better to draw pictures that have some bearing upon your life in the army during the war, and after the armistice.
You may write as many stories as you like, or draw as many cartoons as you please—the best one wins.
No poems accepted. The prize winners and such others as may be selected will be published in The Indian. Send them in at once—don't wait until the last day.
For Stories. For Cartoons.
1st prize 200 francs 1st prize 200 francs
2nd prize 150 francs 2nd prize 150 francs
3rd prize 100 francs 3rd prize 100 francs
4th prize 75 francs 4th prize 75 francs
5th prize 55 francs 5th prize 55 francs
Send to The Indian, care of G-2, Second Division Headquarters.
Corporal George M. P. Wallace claims the honor of being the only man in the Army of Occupation entitled to wear six service chevrons and five wound stripes. He used to be a member of Headquarters Company, Seventeenth Field, and went under the name of "Bloody" Wallace. A few weeks ago he went to Hospital No. 17 for reclassification, and is now awaiting his discharge, parading the streets of Coblenz, showing his arms of gold.
Since February 7 the Seventeenth has lost 35 men. They were granted discharges and left for the States.
The once famous Seventeenth Field string orchestra is being revived, and it is expected the musicians will go on a tour in the near future.
—Henry J. Reis El Bara, Headquarters Co.
She: "What do they mean in the army by 'A. W. 0. L.'?"
He: "A soldier too weak to work, but strong enough to pull his freight."
She: "And what do you do when the bugler
awakens you in the morning?"
He: "We make him apologize."
Swords may be fashioned .into plowshares, but the Germans ale making "krieg's gelt" out of theirs.
Condemned horses and mules, unfit for further service, are sold at auction to the Germans at regular intervals by the American army on the Rhine. None of the animals are guaranteed, and most of them are bought by German butchers and 'sold by them for food.
When the army conducted its sale of horses and mules at Heddesdorf, a great many Germans attended. The bidding was spirited and horses were going rapidly when a bewhiskered German resembling Noah stepped up to the major in charge. He did not have to introduce himself as a professor—he showed it.
He told how the government had sent him to purchase 20 healthy mules for laboratory purposes. He even brought a competent veterinarian with him. Accordingly, a number of sound, kind and true mules were brought out and after a short inspection some were rejected. Finally twenty were selected and stood ready for the auctioneer's hammer.
Then a German of Jewish origin, who had seen the whole performance, and noting that the mules had been carefully selected, decided to take a chance, and jumped into the bidding. The price went high, but the Jew won. As he led the mules off, he was asked what he intended doing with them. He replied: "The same as the professor; I am going to breed them"
Among the animals sold was a mare captured by the Americans from the Germans during the Chateau Thierry action last June. With her was her colt, foaled the night before.
The colt was sired by an American horse. The mare originally had been captured by the Germans from the Russians. Now, both mare and colt are in German hands. Question: What is the nationality of the colt?
One horse had just strength enough to reach the ground, when it collapsed. The division veterinary surgeon gave him a "shot" and he got up and pranced like a colt. He brought a good price, but dropped dead as the successful bidder was leading him off in triumph.
The average price paid for the animals was about one hundred and seventy-five dollars. They were all condemned stock and in the States would probably not bring more than forty dollars at the most.
Captain Walter White, the division veterinarian, was a busy man—in fact, as necessary as the auctioneer to assure the success of the sale.
One German, when asked why he paid such a big price for a horse, replied: "I can't eat the marks."
Following the sale, the butcher shops opened with a new supply of fresh meats.
Those conscientious objectors who would not raise their right hand during the war should not be permitted to raise their voices during peace.
No wonder the Germans are begging for American food. They want to find out what makes the Yankee soldiers so husky.
April 1—This morning the mess sergeant forgot to awaken the men for breakfast, with tne result they did not get up until 11 a. m. rine ham and eggs were cold, and the men refused to eat them. However, the cooks were equal to tne emergency, and cooked a fresh batch. The mess sergeant acted as K. P.
April 2—More kitchen trouble. Sometimes the meal is cooked and ready to serve before the men arrive, while at other times tne line is awaiting tne cooks. The mess sergeant and cooks refer the men to the kitchen clock. Detective Anson was placed on K. P. to solve the mystery. He reports that when the wood is wet and will not burn, the clock runs slow; but when the wood is dry and burns quickly, the clock runs fast.
October 11—I saw him sneak across the open and take cover. The shelter offered perfect concealment. His color blending with the background and surroundings made tne camouflage complete. I knew he was the one who had nicked me three times, and I was determined to put an end to his career. Cautiously I felt my way to his hiding place. I was unarmed. Seeing an opportunity, I pounced upon him. He made but feeble resistance. I held him before the boys for inspection and they all agreed he was the biggest cootie they had ever seen.
Nov. 11—Who won the war? Old man gasoline. —Cpl• James G. Minard, 2nd Sup. Train. *
We cant be the same, you and I—
When we get back from the war;
Not quite the same, for life will mean more
Than to suffer and grumble and die.
In matters, say, of the heart,
We'll not be backward or shy—
We who marked every shell that shrieked by,
While we sharpened our nerves for the start.
When we come from our strafing with Fritz
We'll have learned where life's real treasures lie;
Some fraulein in "Philly," St. Louis, or "Chi"
Will smash our "stag" schemings to bits.
Were you once of a bachelor bent?
Ah, then let me prophesy!
You'll fall for a dimple, a blush or a sigh,
And you'll swear it was an accident!
—Cpl. E. L. Haines, 84th Co., 6ih Marines.
I have been informed that a certain portion of a man's war risk insurance is set aside for the purpose of paying damages caused by fire. Please advise if this is correct, as I recently lost considerable of my equipment, due to a fire in the vicinity of my bunk.
Pvt. "Poncho" Trevno.
Cpl. Denton, Second Supply Train, was asked how the war agreed with him and replied: "Oh, it comes natural to me. You see, I come from Oklahoma."
The Cyclist.
(Tune, "Goodbye, My Lover, Goodbye.")
A motorcycle went down the road,
Goodbye to the front, goodbye;
A shell flew over, but didn't explode;
Goodbye to the front, goodbye;
His tire is punctured, but that don't hurt;
Goodbye to the front, goodbye;
A machine gun bullet goes through his shirt;
Goodbye to the front, goodbye;
He dashes madly around the curve;
Goodbye to the front, goodbye;
These Boche barrages get on your nerves;
Goodbye to the front, goodbye;
His engine's missing, both tires are flat;
Goodbye to the front, goodbye;
He's lost his mask and his old tin hat;
Goodbye to the front, goodbye;
Shells and bullets are left behind;
Goodbye to the front, goodbye;
He dodges a spot where the road's been mined;
Goodbye to the front, goodbye;
Division headquarters pops into view;
Goodbye to the front, goodbye;
They open the door and he runs right through,
Goodbye to the front, goodbye;
In the fall of 1917,- when the Second Supply Train was organized and ordered to France, most of the boys were on the Mexican border; in fact, some of them were born in the Southwest, and had never seen salt water.
When the eastern shore of the Mississippi was reached, one member of the outfit sat down and wrote the following words home: "I arrived safe on the other side; wasn't seasick at all; saw no submarines."
Who climbed with us toward dreary heights
Through woods, o'er hill and plain,
Who shared with us those weary nights
Of agony and pain.
They who humanity's true toil
In fields so fair and green
Now sleep through life's renewed turmoil
Undaunted, calm, serene.
Who lives with us forever more
Immortalized for time, •
Whose deeds embellish mem'ries store
Beyond the power ‘of rhyme?
They who in true devotion rare
The last full measure gave
Now sleep, the glory and the care
Of those who love the brave.
—Sgt. -Cole, Co. K, 5th Marines.
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There are cheese! Just like there are molasses.
The plurality of this simple noun is established
enough long since. The cheese is mortified (anything
is attributable to the cheese in this case cadaverous.
dead, rancid, odoriferous or rank). Only the first of
these attributes, however, can be applied to one Lt.
Stephen A. Walser, of a philanthropic, altruistic
temperament, who subjected himself to the com-
plaints of his delightful French traveling companions
from Nancy to 1VIetz, and those of the refined "femme
de chambre" in a Metz hotel, just to bring back to the
C. 0. of his mess "un petit morceau" of the aforesaid
cheese. Its name is Camembert. The lieutenant's
mortification is as tenacious as that of the cheese.
Imagine the discomfort! There he was in a French
compartment with companions who had not eaten
garlic that morning. They didn't ask him what he
had, they just sniffed. The "loot" thought sniffing
was significant enough, so when he arrived at Metz he
took a room in a hotel where he hoped to camouflage
his treasure beyond the reach of the keen olfactories
of the French, and camouflage he did—at least
thought he did when he wrapped them up in all his
best clothes and buried them (meaning the cheese)
in a drawer. He left, and then came back to 'get his
baggage ready for the trip to Coblenz, when he was
met by the maid.
"Please, sir," she said, "are you a taxidermist?"
"Mais non," he replied. "How do you get that way?"
"Well, sir, you see, my husband died in 1915 from
bites by trench rats; and I thought that if you were
going to stuff those you have in your drawer there,
I'd like to have one to put over my "foyer" so I can
swear at it each day."
"Ve Sell It to Der Soldaten, Anyvay."
In our present age of inspections, when every unit
undergoes a series, one branch of the Seventeenth
Field Artillery claims the title of being the most
thoroughly inspected unit of the Army of Occupation.
This unit is now labeled the "Corps Motor School."
Since its origin as the school of instruction for motor
drivers of the Seventeenth Field Artillery, this school
has stood many critical inspections by many high of-
ficials. Major generals and brigadier generals came
on in flocks. French and English staff officers arrived
in large numbers, and found time to look over the
greasy, oil-stained motor parts which are interesting
objects of study. One of the most distinguished visitors
was Mr. Davis, ambassador to England.
When, during the latter part of January, the first
motors and tractors began to arrive at the village of
Bendorf, the town in which the regiment was then
stationed—it soon became necessary to teach the men
how to drive the "gas horses," feed them and keep
them in prime condition. It was then that the first
motor school was started, and many a former lead.
swing or wheel driver exchanged his grooming kit
for an oil can and a wrench; and his bridle for the
wheel of the new gas wagon.
This course, which lasted but a few weeks, was
closely followed by a second, and when the entire or- ganization was moved to its present location, the fort-
ress of Ehrenbreitstein, the school established itself
in the former stables of the German artillery regi-
ment at the east end of the fortress.
Capt. H. J. Stebbins and Lieut. Milspaugh got busy
and greatly improved the organization of the school.
New buildings were added and occupied. Drawings
and tracings made, gasoline engines taken apart and
mounted on exhibition stands, new motor parts were
procured, and every known type of spark plug intro-
duced into the lectures.
At the present time the school consists of about a
dozen buildings and has a quarter-mile track for the
tryouts of the students and the machines. Accidents
happen, of course, but no one has ever been seriously
The school has a garage of 95 Quad two-ton trucks,
70 Indian motorcycles, 16 Liberty trucks, four light
Ford delivery trucks, four Harley-Davidson motor-
cycles with side cars, and four without, and a large
number of tractors for the batteries.
At the end of a course is an examination, which is
practical as well as written. A thirty-foot square,
with sides of wooden planks, is laid out. The student
drives his truck into the square and attempts to turn
around again and drive out again without touching
the boards. The test of the tractor men is somewhat
similar.—Reis El Bara.
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